Coffee News Dear Born

Housewife Mae was busy rearranging the furniture in preparation for her weekend guests, members of the parish where she belonged. Suddenly, the heirloom flower vase slipped from the hands of her nine-year-old daughter and shattered into irreparable smithereens.

Mae: “What’s the matter with you? Stupid! For what you’ve done, you’ll not eat dinner tonight!” Such tirade assaults the very core of the child’s self confidence and only leads her young mind to believe she’s born stupid. The daughter’s only fault was to impress her mother of her desire to help.

Maybe a better approach is: “We need a dustpan and a good broom.” That solves the problem without fanfare, without hurting the child. Some deference and courtesy everybody deserves, especially the young innocent, inexperienced ones. It is as clear as the crystal vase that the “sin” was accidental — the daughter being too young to handle delicate items in the household, her small hands not yet developed enough for such a job.

Response to such loss can elicit love and understanding. Father’s reaction: “Vases can be replaced, however expensive. In our family everybody’s feelings cannot be bought.”

However in this case, Mae should have admitted loss of composure, agree to make a compassionate reaction.

Be honest to your child. Have the courage to admit mistakes land to make amends. Saying you are sorry when you slip is the supreme act of honesty. It is not the mistake that we commit with our children that hurts, but the denial of our mistakes. By being honest with our children, we inculcate in them the virtues of truthfulness and self-respect. Children learn by example. By being dishonest with your children, we teach them to be disrespectful of their elders and others.

In a household where love abounds children, learn to love and support each other. They feel special and fulfilled and are able to love in return.

When parents take care of their children consistently, they learn to trust their world and grow into emotionally, healthy and strong individuals. Conversely, when children feel their parents do not have their best interest at heart, they become extremely rebellious. Trust begets hope and confidence. This is very important because the cancers of society: drug abuse and alcoholism are the products of hopelessness.

Physical as well as emotional availability is very important in a parent-child relationship. Honestly I do not approve of a couple marrying and having children when they can not afford a decent home and have no stable job or source of bread to sustain a physically healthy family. The family being the basic unit of society must be strong enough to contribute to the enrichment of the community where it belongs and not be a burden to society.

Many people think that sex education is a course like biology. This myth implies that sex education s a course like biology, which starts at an appointed hour, at an appointed place, gives a set number of facts, and lasts a designated number of minutes. It therefore assumes that adults can completely control time and place, content, what is learned, and who will be the instructor and the recipient.

People who believe this myth are the ones who ask, “Should we give sex education or shouldn’t we?” “At what age should we start?” and “’Should we give it at home or at school?”

Sex education, then, begins the first time babies are handled. For the first year, life is mostly composed of “sensual” feelings, such as the pleasure of sucking from the bottle or breast, the way in which the mothers handle the babies’ genitals, the sense of warmth and security when their mothers hold them close. Infants don’t think about these things, of course, they just get messages that become a part of them.

If you tell a child who is masturbating to “take your hand out of your pocket,” that’s sex education. If you say, “don’t do that, that’s naughty,” that’s sex education. And if you don’t do or say anything, that’s sex education too.

Sex and sex education are important. But that doesn’t mean that everything important has to be deadly serious. Just as there is humor in other important areas of life, so there is humor in sex. The more important the topic, the more people use—and need—a bit of humor to help them cope with it. We use humor about marriage, money, sickness—even death.

Yet many people are afraid to deal with sex in a lighthearted, casual manner. Interestingly enough, people who think of sex as deadly serious and treat all humor about it as if it were obscene, often snicker the loudest at dirty jokes, or at the mere mention of the word.

The deadly serious approach to sex education surrounds it with mystique that gives it an importance out of proportion to its place in every day living. It is more important to distinguish between a casual, humorous attitude toward sex, and a snickering, flip attitude toward it.

Don’t be too hard on your kids. Just as important, don’t let them be to hard on you!

A day of mountain biking can be a great way to get some exercise, socialize with friends, and see beautiful outdoor places that may be difficult to hike to by foot. With some preparation, you can make sure that you are happy and safe all day. Equipment you will need includes a mountain bike, a helmet, a backpack, plenty of water, a lunch plus some snacks, and perhaps sunscreen depending on the weather. It’s a good idea if at least one person in your group has an inner tube patch kit and a bike tire pump in case someone pops a tire.

You will want to bring more water than you expect to need. With several hours of biking, particularly in hot weather, you can easily lose a lot of fluid through sweating and you will want to make sure to replace it aggressively. Also be sure to stop for a long lunch in order to eat food and recharge. If you become hungry along the way, feel free to snack a bit since your muscles deserve the energy! If possible try to make sure that the hardest parts of the ride are in the morning when you are most fresh. You won’t want to do an aggressive climb when you are nearly dead at the end of the day! Be sure to stay with the group and get some tips from more advanced riders. Don’t do anything that you don’t feel comfortable with since not only is an injury unpleasant, but it can be very inconvenient if it happens far into the wilderness!