Case one: You told your children a fairy story about the stork. Now what do you do?
The out: Remind them of the Santa Claus myth and say, “Now you’re old enough to know.”

Case two: You got flustered once and said, “You’re too young to understand.” Now your child won’t talk to you any more.
The out: Reopen the door. “Remember when I said you were too young? Now you’re old enough; let’s talk about it.” Even if your child doesn’t want to right that minute, he or she probably will soon, if not about that question, then another.

Case three: You got impatient when your child didn’t understand, asked too many questions, or asked at the wrong time. You feel you were unfair, but now it’s too late.
The out: Reopen the door. “You know, I was thinking about our conversation last week. I think I was unfair…”
Some of these things sound so obvious that you may wonder why on earth anyone would have any question about them. But it’s amazing how often everyone —including the experts — overlook the obvious when under pressure.

Case four: You’re on the spot with a question that is complicated, and you can’t think how to answer. Maybe it’s one that’s causing your child a lot of anxiety or fear. The more you try to think, the blanker your mind gets, and the more frightened your child looks.
The out: “Boy, you’ve asked a tough one! I’m not stalling because I’m embarrassed or mad at you. I’m just having a hard time trying to figure out the best way to answer you. Just give me a minute to think about it, okay?”
That takes the heat off both of you, and you can go ahead and think as long as you need to. Your child will be pleased that you consider his or her concerns worthy of real thought, no matter how anxious he or she is. You are being the model for the thoughtful parent that you hope your child will be some day.

In the end, it’s often not the answer itself that counts, but the empathy you show, the attitude you impart, and the feelings that you share. Those are the things that will really be remembered. If your children want a textbook, they can eventually buy one. All they want from a parent or teacher is a reasonably knowledgeable, caring, understanding, and honest adult.