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When it comes to creating a happy home, most of us recognize the importance of behavior, diet, and health. But these important factors are only part of the equation.

Sometimes people think that if everyone in a home loves one another enough, happiness will just happen. Unfortunately, that’s not always true. Family members can love one another and still not get along. They may struggle to maintain pleasant relations until someone finally says or does something to tip the scales, and everyone blows up.

Happy families are families with happy parents and happy parents are parents who know the family is expressing those values that are most important to the parents. Here the Six Steps are explained, in brief:

Modeling. This is “do-as-I- do, not-as-I-say” step. It assumes that the real message of parent lies in her actions, not her words. Think a favorite teacher you had. How did she act? What did he model? What behaviors did she display that mean a lot to you?

Consistency. This step means always being the same person, no matter how tired or upset or angry you might feel. You can be mom who is angry, but not that raging monster Mom turns into when she gets mad. Consistency, in other words, means holding on to the self through thick and thin, on a 24/7 basis, 365 days a year. Research shows that children do best when their home life is consistent.

Reinforcement. This step involves acknowledging people in your family when they demonstrate or model desired behaviors. Reinforcement is a mild and casual form of attention. It’s present but not overbearing. Let’s say that helping around the house, obeying curfew rules, and working diligently on homework every day during homework time are desired behaviors.

Showing Rational Empathy. There is a subtle yet major difference between empathy and sympathy. Being sympathetic means feeling pity, while showing empathy means at least trying to understand why a person feels and acts as she does. In their book, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish turn empathic treatment into an art form and show how the use of empathy can be a very effective way of dealing with kid’s unwanted behaviors.

Showing Care and Concern for Animals, Plans, and Nonliving Things in the home. You do not have to be perfect. You just have to place enough value on these objects to illustrate that they are special enough to be in your home. In your culture of planned obsolescence with homes full of objects purchased, tossed aside, and forgotten, and with food meant to taste good but not to nourish -this step is especially important.

Showing Care and Concern for All the People in the Home. This step is not as obvious as it may sound. In The Nanny Diaries, the young nanny can handle just about everything- the added duties, unpredictable hours, having to shop for her boss’s mistress, getting stuck with more than a dozen other children to care for during vacation, and other occupational burdens.

The six steps can be done in any order and work best when used simultaneously, like instruments in an orchestra. Let’s take a family that lives by Six Step philosophy, all the people are given loving attention.

To understand your child’s emotional needs is to accept the fact he is an individuals with a sense of self, separate from you. Your child is not the extension of yourself or of his other kin such as his grandparents or siblings. Every child is not the facsimile of his parents or any other person — he is nothing more than himself, a separate individual whose needs and rights must be nurtured and respected if he is to grow up a useful adult worthy of becoming a responsible parent himself.

Child’s Emotional Needs

The goal of emotional development is a wholesome sense of self, a feeling of wellbeing. A happy child is a fulfilled child of fulfilled parents who have a deep understanding of his emotional needs.

But this does not necessarily mean giving the child a surfeit of expensive toys (even if the parents can well afford it) and other material things his neighbors could not even dream of having. These excesses will only lead the child to believe he is far more superior than the others and thus deserves better treatment like the sons of irresponsible congressmen.

The sad truth is that these kinds of parents are mere show-offs, emotionally unfulfilled adults who need the approval of his peers and sadly their own children.

Nor is it good advice to pamper your child so that he is led to believe he has all the right to the. complete attention of his parents without in turn doing his duties of respecting and honoring his elders, and doing his share of household chores, making school homework, reviewing for tests, etc.
In short, a positive sense of self is the centerpiece of a well-adjusted emotional life. They are self-confident because they have

To be able to help your child achieve a positive sense of self, you must support his emotional development.

Empathy is the mental entrance into the feeling of another person: an appreciative perception and understanding. It is the ability to identify with another person’s emotional experience, a putting of oneself in another person’s shoes. When you listen to your children, they feel understood and comfortably sheltered from emotional harm. Children look up to their parents for validation or approval. Children need a lot of attention; when they feel unaccepted, they feel emotionally hurt.

Love involves affection, tenderness and support for the well-being of the child. Parents learned to love by being loved themselves, and so they are able to transfer this virtue instinctively to their children and without effort.