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Potty Training at Day Care

June 24th, 2009

You know for a fact that your baby can’t use diapers forever and the big step has to come whether you like it or not. There are some children that are not physically or mentally ready for the big switch from nappies to underwear even if kids their age are pretty much potty trained already. What if your child has to be in a day care? I’m pretty sure you are worried especially you can’t be there the whole time even if you want to. The key in making your potty training endeavor successful is consistency and communication. You should discuss this to your care provider at the day care and meet halfway on everything that you both want to achieve. Both of you should have a consistent approach to your child to avoid confusion, in this way you are also helping the child set the environment for a pain-free transition.

If possible, have the same equipment with your provider. They take care of other kids too so don’t expect them to provide every child at the day care with individual potty chairs. They usually use a regular toilet with a potty seat on top. There’s nothing wrong with this and personally, this is what I prefer. This makes the transition period a lot easier because you’re already making the child get used to the idea of a real toilet. Another thing would be debating about diapers, pull-ups and underwear. Each parent does it differently and we prefer different things. Again, be consistent on everything. Talk to your care provider and agree on the same thing. No matter what both of you have agreed on, make sure you use the same thing at home as well. Also, make sure your child wears practical clothing while he is in a day care. Practical means something that can be easily removed by the care provider. Forget about bodysuits and overalls.

What about the rewards and consequences? Note that we don’t use punishment as this will not do your child any good. This is another thing that you have to talk to your provider about. Does your child have to be rewarded every time he uses the potty? Is he rewarded even if he only tries? How are accidents handled? Maybe you can provide some stickers to the day care so they can practice the same habit you do at home. Talk to them about positive reinforcement. Whatever it is that you agreed upon with your care provider, the main thing is to stay consistent all the time and in no time, your child will be potty trained successfully.

4 Ways on How to Deal with Your Child’s Sex-Related Questions

April 6th, 2009

Case one: You told your children a fairy story about the stork. Now what do you do?
The out: Remind them of the Santa Claus myth and say, “Now you’re old enough to know.”

Case two: You got flustered once and said, “You’re too young to understand.” Now your child won’t talk to you any more.
The out: Reopen the door. “Remember when I said you were too young? Now you’re old enough; let’s talk about it.” Even if your child doesn’t want to right that minute, he or she probably will soon, if not about that question, then another.

Case three: You got impatient when your child didn’t understand, asked too many questions, or asked at the wrong time. You feel you were unfair, but now it’s too late.
The out: Reopen the door. “You know, I was thinking about our conversation last week. I think I was unfair…”
Some of these things sound so obvious that you may wonder why on earth anyone would have any question about them. But it’s amazing how often everyone —including the experts — overlook the obvious when under pressure.

Case four: You’re on the spot with a question that is complicated, and you can’t think how to answer. Maybe it’s one that’s causing your child a lot of anxiety or fear. The more you try to think, the blanker your mind gets, and the more frightened your child looks.
The out: “Boy, you’ve asked a tough one! I’m not stalling because I’m embarrassed or mad at you. I’m just having a hard time trying to figure out the best way to answer you. Just give me a minute to think about it, okay?”
That takes the heat off both of you, and you can go ahead and think as long as you need to. Your child will be pleased that you consider his or her concerns worthy of real thought, no matter how anxious he or she is. You are being the model for the thoughtful parent that you hope your child will be some day.

In the end, it’s often not the answer itself that counts, but the empathy you show, the attitude you impart, and the feelings that you share. Those are the things that will really be remembered. If your children want a textbook, they can eventually buy one. All they want from a parent or teacher is a reasonably knowledgeable, caring, understanding, and honest adult.

Talk Your Child Clever

March 28th, 2009

Most parents can hardly wait for their baby to say its first word. This usually happens between the nine months and a year. From about two years, the child should be able to use simple phrases, and by three he should be able to use full sentences. By four, he should be fully able to talk, although he may still make grammatical errors. By five, he should have acquired basic language.

There is little doubt that language acquisition is one of the key milestones in early childhood development. Much of a child’s future social and intellectual development hinges on this milestone. A language delay can lead to isolation and withdrawal, and to learning difficulties and poor academic performance. Recent research has revealed a dramatic link between the development of spoken language and written language among children, and the importance of language acquisition to basic reading skills.

Many parents believe that the term “language development” implies that the child’s acquisition of language is an automatic process. This, however, is not the case. There is nothing that any human being knows or can do that he has not learned. This is especially true of language acquisition.

The child begins to learn language from the day he is born. From the very first moment it is the parents’ responsibility to lay a proper foundation that will enable the child to acquire adequate language skills. Just like parents must ensure that a child follows a healthy and balanced diet for optimal physically development, they must take steps to ensure optimal language development.

HOW LANGUAGE IS ACQUIRED

Parents should start talking to their little baby from the day he is born. Some mothers are by nature quiet and reserved. Others have the unfortunate idea that it is foolish to talk to their babies, knowing that they do not understand. The mother, who does not talk continually while feeding, bathing and dressing her baby, is laying the foundation for a late talker.

The baby learns language in one way only, and that is by hearing language as the parents talk and talk to it. The more a parent can talk to a child, often repeating the same words, the same phrases, the same structures over and over, the sooner the child will learn language.

An important thing to note here is that by the time a baby is about nine months old he should be able to understand simple words and commands. He may perhaps also be able to say a few simple words already. Invariably, however, one finds that the baby understands much more than he is able to say. In fact, this remains so of any person throughout his life. One is always able to understand more of any language, even one’s mother tongue, than one is able to use in active speech. This is even more so of any second or third languages that a person is able to speak.

This shows that we have two more or less separate masses of language knowledge, our PASSIVE knowledge (also called receptive language) on one hand, and our ACTIVE (expressive language) on the other. When we listen or read, we make use of our passive vocabulary, and when we speak or write, of our active vocabulary.

An important thing to note here is that the child’s passive vocabulary came into being through constant and continual repetition of words, phrases or structures. Once a word, phrase or structure has been repeated often enough, it also becomes part of the baby’s active vocabulary. This shows that the active vocabulary can only be improved VIA the passive. Research has shown that a child who is just beginning to talk must hear a word about 500 times before it will become part of his active vocabulary. Long before that it will already form part of his passive vocabulary. This means that parents should create as many opportunities as possible in which their baby can hear them talk.

THE SECRET OF READING TO YOUR CHILD

Parents should read to their children as often as possible. The secret, however, which will lead to optimal language development, is to read the SAME stories over and over and over.

In the “good old days” there was not the abundance of storybooks that there is today. Parents were compelled – it was also part of the child-rearing traditions – to tell over and over to their children the few stories that they knew, or to read over and over to their children the few books in their possession. They also spent a lot of time teaching their children rhymes and songs. As I discovered for myself through my own son, this over and over repetition of the same stories and rhymes was extremely beneficial for the acquisition of language. In fact, I took this tradition to the extreme, exposing my son to only ONE book for nearly two years.

Soon after my elder son, Gustav, was born, I bought him a book with the story of Pinocchio. The book was aimed at four-year-olds. Except for talking to him continually, I started to read to him from this book when he was only two or three months old – as often as I could, over and over and over. I found this tedious, of course. Gustav, however, loved it, and the results of this experiment made all my efforts worthwhile. Not only did he start talking much sooner than most children do, but when he was just over two years, he could recite nearly all the pages from Pinocchio. When turning to a new page, one only had to read the first word or two on that page and he would recite the rest of the page like a parrot. In itself this may seem quite useless, but of great importance was that the vocabulary in this book soon became part of his everyday speech. In terms of language development, he was soon miles ahead of his age group. In fact, to this day, his vocabulary and his ability to speak with clarity are quite astounding.

When a child is a bit older, one should start teaching him nursery rhymes. Research has shown that knowledge of nursery rhymes among three-year-olds was a significant predictor of later prereading skills even after the children’s IQ and their mothers’ educational levels were partialed out.

While an apple a day keeps the doctor away, talking forever makes your child clever!