Coffee News Dear Born

In Spain the last frontier of sex is to deal with the crisis. In principal Iberian city more and more real estate ads that offer rooms for rent in exchange for sex. The initiative, according to El Mundo and El Pais, is targeted primarily at students or at least to young people with few financial resources willing to share a roof with regular intimate relationships.

Tenders, explicit, leaving no room for doubt of any kind. “Alquilo habitacion a cambio de sexo”, “Busco chica para compartir piso a cambio de sexo” ( “Rent a room in exchange for sex,” “I want a girl to share an apartment in exchange for sex), we read about many university boards of the country and on online advertisements. The phenomenon in great expansion, the daily El Mundo devoted a full page and even El Paìs is interested in the new trend hard.

To offer apartments in exchange for sex, however, are not only men looking for companionship. Also, student tenants, in fact, have started to put ads unequivocal. “I am a Spanish student of 27 years old, seeking a room in shared apartment in exchange for sex, if possible with Spanish, more than 25 years, working,” offers a listing over by El Mundo.

To unravel all the mechanisms, a journalist from the newspaper came into the game. Was proposed as a tenant to some advertiser. The first is young, offering food and accommodation in Madrid for “sexual intercourse three days.” Generous, it also adds the carriage drive tenants to work. “We can meet, see the house, have the first report, and then give you the keys of the house,” suggests. Another, Pedro, offers, always on the internet, “camera girl or a free pair of girls of good education in return for sexual relations from time to time.” And ‘the second time, said: with the first tenant, things went well. “We have established conditions, only rules of coexistence: the sex, I try to make sure it is cold.”

Usually the first contacts are by e-mail, with exchange of photos, some are calling in “lingerie”. Then the first meeting, and if all goes well, click the “contract”, usually informally. “I left with my girlfriend and I know many people,” said a boy from Barcelona, 23 years, which in turn provides a roof in exchange for sex. The economic crisis that has befallen Spain seems one of the springs of the phenomenon, but not only. “It has to do with the loneliness and the trivialization of sex,” says the psychologist Erik Pescador. And then the people are ‘less capable of sustaining relationships face to face, many use the Internet, the marriage agencies … and this concludes Pescador, “is perhaps only the last flight forward.”

Case one: You told your children a fairy story about the stork. Now what do you do?
The out: Remind them of the Santa Claus myth and say, “Now you’re old enough to know.”

Case two: You got flustered once and said, “You’re too young to understand.” Now your child won’t talk to you any more.
The out: Reopen the door. “Remember when I said you were too young? Now you’re old enough; let’s talk about it.” Even if your child doesn’t want to right that minute, he or she probably will soon, if not about that question, then another.

Case three: You got impatient when your child didn’t understand, asked too many questions, or asked at the wrong time. You feel you were unfair, but now it’s too late.
The out: Reopen the door. “You know, I was thinking about our conversation last week. I think I was unfair…”
Some of these things sound so obvious that you may wonder why on earth anyone would have any question about them. But it’s amazing how often everyone —including the experts — overlook the obvious when under pressure.

Case four: You’re on the spot with a question that is complicated, and you can’t think how to answer. Maybe it’s one that’s causing your child a lot of anxiety or fear. The more you try to think, the blanker your mind gets, and the more frightened your child looks.
The out: “Boy, you’ve asked a tough one! I’m not stalling because I’m embarrassed or mad at you. I’m just having a hard time trying to figure out the best way to answer you. Just give me a minute to think about it, okay?”
That takes the heat off both of you, and you can go ahead and think as long as you need to. Your child will be pleased that you consider his or her concerns worthy of real thought, no matter how anxious he or she is. You are being the model for the thoughtful parent that you hope your child will be some day.

In the end, it’s often not the answer itself that counts, but the empathy you show, the attitude you impart, and the feelings that you share. Those are the things that will really be remembered. If your children want a textbook, they can eventually buy one. All they want from a parent or teacher is a reasonably knowledgeable, caring, understanding, and honest adult.